Featured

Chase Your Dream. Do It Unapologetically

Introduction

There’s something to be said once you take the time to analyze your self worth and the direction in where you see yourself heading down the road. I had an unbelievable series of fortunate events happen to me over the past month that I thought I’d share with you.

IMG_2212

Chapter 1: The Epiphany

 

I’m a huge advocate of the cliche saying, “Everything Happens For a Reason”. I am extremely self aware of my actions and how it has an equal reaction to my surrounding environment. That being said, everything that’s happened in my life literally happened for a reason.

Rewind to my life circa November 2016. Doesn’t seem that long ago for most people, but for me, it was a lifetime ago. I was this brash and cocky, recent college graduate that got a job in Manhattan in the field I studied. I thought I made it. I lived up to “The American Dream”. The only problem was that I was living someone else’s dream.

I was succeeding at my job and was living independently. Everything seemed perfect on the surface to those around, however there was a fundamental problem within all of this. I wasn’t being truly authentic to myself and to my feelings. I felt that I was already invested in my career because I was getting paid enough and had the credentials in college to back up what I was doing. Everything seemed right and figured I’d go along for the ride and see where it takes me.

It’s not that what I was doing as a career was taxing or inefficient, it was just that the longer that I was doing it, the more I became aware that it just wasn’t me. I did a lot of self reflection during that time and realized that I was going through the motions in college and within the start of my career just to get passed the finish line. I stuck with it just to say that I had a respectable college degree and a respectable job.

My one year anniversary was coming up to my job and I had an extremely difficult time accepting that I’ve committed a year of my life to something where I felt like I wasn’t progressing towards my goal. Don’t get me wrong I’m extremely grateful at the opportunity to learn my role and progress within the business, however, it was very much like running a marathon on a treadmill. It’s like, yesss you put in the work, but really, you’re right back where you started.

It was within that moment where I had an epiphany. A vision that this wasn’t what I was going to commit my life to. I had this burning desire inside me that just told me to change careers. And to make moves now. The wait was over. I’ve thought about my future long enough. It was time to act.

 

Chapter 2: The Declaration

 

I removed myself from my daily routine. From the weekends around friends and distractions. I almost hibernated in my own thoughts and ambitions. I set tangible and outlandish goals. I wrote down what was important to me to have. What was it that I truly valued. How was I going to enact these values into fruition? I did these deep thought self therapy sessions for weeks on end. Before, during and after work. I did it during work outs, through 5 mile runs. I did this in my bedroom, in conversation with a close knit group of friends and family. I spoke about my ambitions with my co workers, and clients. Without regard of any fear. I became obsessed with these new found declarations.

  1. Use the skills I’ve accumulated at my current job and use them towards a company that I fundamentally believe in.
  2. Stay true to who I am and not conform to spending time doing something that doesn’t reflect my own values
  3. Move into an apartment with adequate space that invokes a liberating personal life

I became active.. Once I had a plan in place, I incorporated it into my every day life. I almost shut myself from the immediate world around me to convert this plan into a reality. It was a process to say the least.

These 3 main declarations are literally what I would think about every day. In the morning, afternoon and night, it was always on the top of my mind. I visualized everything that I declared so vividly. For example, I’ve always pictured myself professionally working in a creative environment to help grow a business or at least be a pivotal piece in the growing process. I’ve always pictured myself doing it in a space that would allow me to be both creative in my approach, but also analytical and strategic. Finally, I always pictured myself living in the heart of NYC walking distance from anything and everything with people who I could consider my best friends.

Again, over and over, the concentration and focus that I put in achieving those three things became my reality. That’s all that I saw. I felt like I was already living in that world. I did the research. I applied. and applied. and interviewed. and interviewed. Meanwhile, I reached out. I explored all of my options. I downloaded roommate finding apps. I went on open house tours. I saw different apartments, I met up with different potential roommates, I went into interview after interview.

The actions that I would put the most effort into directly reflected the declarations that I had set for myself. It’s all that I would put my energy into. It was only a matter of time before it all manifested.

 

Chapter 3: The Law of Attraction

 

I was told somewhere along my journey that the universe has a way of manifesting your visualizations so long as you can clearly see see the outcome and are willing to put in the work. I had visualized the outcome extremely clearly and had put in the work. The rest was up to the universe.

This was probably the most difficult part of the whole process for me. I’m convinced that I can influence most things into my favor, but when it’s out of control, it’s hard for me to sit back understand that I’ve done the most that I can do.

The Law of Attraction is a tool that many successful people use in order to further advance them in their success. It’s not just used for their careers, but enacted within their daily lives. If you haven’t heard of Jim Carrey’s story of visualization, maybe it can do for you what it did for me.

The universe responded positively to my declarations. I communicated with my boss about my ambitions elsewhere and was proactive once I was starting to get interviews. My boss saw that my heart was elsewhere and supported me with coverage so that I could attend my interviews freely.

I was getting connecting with people who were also looking for roommates and apartments for the said time table. I was exploring my options in different neighborhoods. Exploring Tirelessly I might add. During times of the night that just didn’t make sense to most people. During lunch breaks and whatever down time I could accumulate.

Eventually, I learned that I had done everything in my power to get me closer to my goal. I just had to build a higher tolerance for patience and faith. This was particularly hard for me because I am such a control freak and am convinced that I can manipulate my surroundings according to my liking, however.. what I was about to find out was that the universe was just about ready to respond.

Chapter 4: The Outcome

 

October 12, 2017: My final interview. I’ll never forget it. I met with the General Manager for the Tri-State area. I did my best reading up on the company, the direction it was going, what specific examples I could use from my current job to exemplify my value for the company. One hour after the end of the interview, I get a call from my recruiter asking me how I felt about the interview. I told him I felt confident and great overall about how the conversation went. That I put it all out there and left it on the table. He responded me to congratulate me and offered me the position…….

October 15, 2017: I get a text from my buddy explaining that a space opened up at his friend’s apartment. It’s 3 times the size of my last place with the same humble price tag. I go to meet up with him and check out the unit. It’s huge.. gorgeous.. has a doorman and an elevator.. with a private bathroom.. I go to meet up with the guy on the lease an hour later.. and within the next 5/6 hours get the offer from him offering the room to me……

October 19, 2017: My final day at my previous job. Gratitude and Humble vibes throughout the entire day. Realizing that I wouldn’t be in the position I was awarded without going through that experience. Although the previous job wasn’t meant to be, I couldn’t be more grateful to have had the opportunity to grow with the company. It’s almost like a great ex girlfriend/boyfriend. Someone who you respect fully but just realized it just wasn’t the right path for the both of you and being able to walk away…….

October 20-27: Vacation. I fell in love with Canada. Vancouver B.C. to be specific along with the most amazing girl that resides there…… (see follow up post)

October 27, 2017: I found a roommate to fill in my old apartment and agree to move in on Nov 1……..

October 30, 2017: My very first day at the new job. I’m blown away at the amount of attention to detail that was put into the on boarding process for a supposed “start up”. Such a stark difference in company culture, when you can actively see every single employee truly happy when they walk in the doors. Promoting a strong community culture that promotes creativity and freedom, I felt right at home. Not to mention that the company had an event later on in the day to celebrate their major acquisition… so talk about a memorable Day 1…….

October 31, 2017: Move out day, being young dumb and broke, had no resources to help me with my move. So I literally hit up all of my friends to see who was available and who had a car. With all of the movement and life changes, approached this highly underprepared. Eventually… thanks to all of my lovely support, managed to get my roommate to help me move my stuff to the curb, called an Uber XL , loaded all of my stuff in Nissan Pathfinder and had my friend meet me at my new apartment to help bring up my stuff up to my apartment. All after an 8 hour day 2 at a brand new company. LOL…. Long story short… everything worked out impractically perfect……..

 

Conclusion

The reason why I bring this up is to illustrate that sometimes you may not know logistically how everything is going to work out, but the important thing is that you allow yourself to be fully immersed in the universe’s plan to help you achieve all of the declarations you’ve set for yourself. Understand that the most you can do is position yourself correctly so that these opportunities can find its way to you.

 

Set Declarations, Stay humble, Be Grateful, Be Critical of Yourself, Visualize Greatness, Ask Questions, Be Authentic, Chase Your Dream. Do it Unapologetically. And above all else… Do It Tirelessly.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Comm 101: How Effective Communication Has Positively Impacted My Life

One thing that I’ve noticed during the past few months is that in todays age of social media, we’ve all become hyper social however we’ve somehow lost the ability to effectively communicate. After having this realization, I started thinking: What areas in my life can I do a better job of communicating my thoughts? After giving it some serious thought, I came to the conclusion that there are 5 main pillars  that could benefit from practicing effective communication.

 My Relationship

giphy

Most people would say that a long distance relationship presents challenges, however, I would say that it certainly has its benefits. One of which is that it forced me to work on  my communication skills. Something that I learned is that in order to effectively communicate my feelings to my girlfriend, I had to be extremely vulnerable with myself. I had to completely own the feelings and emotions I was going through before I could communicate it.

Once I owned my fears and made myself vulnerable, I was able to speak on it in a way where my girlfriend could receive it.

I would talk about my flaws, my ambitions, my goals, my desires. I would express things I learned from prior relationships and things I wanted to work on.

For example, one of the first disagreements my girlfriend and I went through happened because I was triggered back to a very unhealthy moment in a previous relationship. I shut down and clocked out mentally because I felt completely helpless in that moment much like I was in that previous relationship.

After owning up to my emotions and expressing my fears in that moment I realized that the two events were mutually exclusive, but my brain processed them as if they were the same. I was triggered back to that moment in my past and unfairly projected it onto the present. This is a conclusion I wouldn’t have analyzed on my own had it not been for my girlfriend empowering me to communicate what I was going through and why I was shutting down. Because she was open to actively listen, she was able to fully understand what had happened to me because she had also dealt with similar issues in her past.

Had it not been for that open line of communication, the argument could have steered into the wrong direction.

Effective communication allowed us to understand each other on a deeper level and I am grateful to have someone in my life that fosters the same kind of mentality that I do.

 

 My Workplace

giphy1 

On boarding is always a peculiar time when starting a new job. You’re the new kid, and don’t really know the true culture of the company. Out of everything I was learning during the on boarding process, the main theme I quickly picked up on was how many times every employee and mentor I met mentioned “over communication” as the key to success. Over communicate with the team, the members, and management. Every time I seemingly had no idea what I was doing, I would over communicate how lost I was to my team and ask basic questions to get a better understanding of what I was doing.

For example, I would present a specific question to the team, other colleagues who worked in my region, their bosses and even to the directors in my market. I gathered answers from all of these sources and implemented my own baseline of knowledge to come up with the best possible solution.

Taking this practice a step further, I reached out to my manager and asked her for feedback during my short time with the company. What are some things you think I should work on? How would you grade my performance up to this point? I also asked to sit with her 1 on 1 to discuss my short term and long term goals. From that point, we came up with a plan for me to achieve those goals within a specific amount of time. I know this sounds generic to any corporate job, but having access to open conversations with my boss was such a huge stress relief for me and enabled me to expedite my progression.

This built my confidence quickly and I was able to build up a rapport with existing and potential members which turned into successful closed sales. I continued my communication practices by reaching out to new members and giving them updates with events that were happening in the building that they have access to, providing solutions to help grow their business, and ways they could get more involved with our community. I would personally stop by their offices just to ask how their day is going and whether we can do anything to enhance their experience with us.

During my short tenure with the company, I’ve realized that I don’t measure my success by the amount of sales I close, but by the impact I have on those around me: mainly through over communicating.

 

 My Family

giphy2

The holidays just past and as many of you can relate, being home for the holidays can be overwhelming and stressful. For me, the holidays were always a challenge growing up with trying to navigate logistics of how to get from the train station to my moms house. And how long to stay at my moms house before leaving to go to my dads house. And then figuring out where to stay the night and who’s car to borrow for the weekend. I’m sure people with divorced parents can relate.

However, what I’ve come to find out is that as I get older, my relationship with my family has grown in tandem with my ability to communicate.

As I continue to put more effort into effectively communicating with my family, the more I’ve been able to appreciate our family dynamic.

Updating them on my personal and professional life is something I’ve been practicing more regularly, but the beauty of a divorced family is that I don’t have to play the role of son or brother every time I come home. I get to reinvent my relationship with my parents by asking them tough questions about our relationship.

What’s going on at work? How did that promotion go? What challenges do you have right now? Applying the same tactics that I’ve practiced in my relationship and in the workplace, expressing vulnerability and over-communicating, has changed my perception of what my family dynamic was.

 My Friends

giphy3

Moving to a new city was an exciting time for because I get the opportunity to rebuild my friend group.

Everyone here has been absolutely amazing. There’s a misconception that New Yorkers are vile human beings, are self centered, image driven and materialistic. A lot of the stereotypes stem from tv/media outlets and imagery from social media platforms. However, in my experience what I’ve come to learn is that you receive back whatever energy you’re personally seeking out. I’m a true advocate of the fact that you are an aggregate of the 5 people closest in your life.

With that in mind, during my first few months in the city, I went to as many social events as possible to meet new people. Extracurriculars and a lot of late nights out ensued. I joined as many social and sports clubs as possible to help construct the circle of friends that I envisioned. I continued to operate in this way and took advantage of the ways my new friends could help me get to where I want to be and vice versa.

One thing I started focusing on as of late was communicating how grateful I am to have such amazing people in my life. That’s one thing that was very important to me because like all things in my life, I wouldn’t be in the position that I’m in without the help of those around me.

I’ve somehow been fortunate enough to have a great crew surrounding me and expressing gratitude towards your friends is something I feel everyone should practice.

 

 Spiritually

giphy4

I alluded to energy earlier and the affects that you have on the universe. I want to start by saying that I’m not a particularly religious person, however, I do think it’s crucial to acknowledge some sort of belief system. Whatever that case is for me may be different to someone else. You may ask yourself, what does spirituality have to do with communication? And to that, I say this:

I had to really have that conversation with myself on what my definition of religion was and how to practice my beliefs in my day to day. I had to really dig deep and communicate to myself the things I valued and how I view the world in terms of religion. How do I want to live my life? How do I want to treat others? What are some things I’ve learned through conversation with people; things that I can apply to my every day life?

These were the type of questions that I would ask myself on any given Sunday during a morning run. I would write down in my notes, I would challenge people around me to answer, and I would express these questions to my parents who raised me to be catholic. What I’ve determined after all of these practices is that:

I acknowledge that there is a super consciousness that oversees all life. That we are all inherently powerful beings capable of good and evil. That we always have a choice to do one of the other, but if things lead to the latter, it’s not because we are inherently evil, but because there are those who are misinformed, misguided or misunderstood. And that communication is best tool to help lead those individuals to be informed, guided, and understood.

My goal for this article is to inspire people to take a break from being social and to try and focus on communicating the things that you would usually keep to yourself. To take what I’ve learned about myself over the past few months and apply it in as many of the 5 mentioned pillars as possible. Express vulnerability, over-communicate, inquire, actively listen, express gratitude and above all else,

#CommunicateTirelessly

Screen Shot 2017-09-21 at 12.38.37 AM

 

 

Let’s Dance

He was just a guy enjoying his life.

She was just a girl prepping for her girls trip.

He just came from work.

She just finished getting ready.

He was friends with him.

She was friends with him.

He opened the door.

She was taken back.

He went in for the hug.

She went in for the handshake.

Hi I’m Andrew.

Hi I’m Jasmine.

Nice to meet you.

Cordial on the outside.

Burning desire on the inside.

Conversation ensued.

The Uber came.

He grabbed her.

“I ordered a separate Uber for us.”

She noticed him.

Feelings developed.

The drop off spot

2 blocks away.

They walked towards the bar.

They passed an older couple

with a dog.

They both thought to themselves.

They look so happy.

We both wanted their lives.

The feeling was mutual.

They arrived at the bar.

She sat quietly.

He drank to ease the nerves.

She looked at him.

He bought her a drink.

They both feel the music.

She looked at him again.

She’s all he saw.

He walked up to her.

Grabbed her hand.

Whispered with confidence

“Let’s Dance”

 

Anticipate Rejection, Never Accept It

Rejection, by Google’s definition is as follows:

 Screen Shot 2017-09-23 at 12.26.30 PM

I am going to decipher this a little bit, but not without clarity as to the reason why first. I came across a very insightful article this morning on CNBC.com¹ about a young woman’s experience taking her freelancing consultation service from nothing, to everything. She explains three tips on how to essentially be successful.

  1. Take Risks

  2. Have Confidence in What You Do

  3. Over Deliver

I’ll let you read upon her amazing scenarios that explain why those three tips are essential, but for today’s purpose, this got me thinking. All of those tips require some level of potential rejection. Anyone who’s worked a sales position will tell you that they hear “No’s (and much worse iterations of No) all the time and still push through it and move on to the next prospect.

The key is to anticipate rejection but to never accept it.

We can do this by proactively expecting objections so that when they do come, it’s to no surprise to you. Once people hear “No”, whether explicitly or passively, it’s hard to not take it personally and feel inadequate. However, if you truly feel as though you suffice, then you don’t need to accept rejection.

It’s the equivalent of someone trying to throw shade at you or try to say something negative and you’re just sitting there like..

Your opinions do not affect me because I suffice.

 

Now let me decipher the mentioned google definition,”The dismissing or refusing of a proposal, or idea etc.“…. through an ensemble of some of my proudest rejections.

Exhibit A: Interview Tirelessly

For anyone who is passionate about anything and for those especially living here in NYC, you know how competitive it is to find your dream job. I might have to change my name to “Unfortunately we’ve moved forward with other candidates” because that’s what about 50 different companies address me by. This is the perfect example illustrating the “dismissing or refusing of a proposal, or idea“. The proposal was “hey look at me I’m smart, driven, talented, hard working, creative” and the result was:

 

giphy3
Denied!

 

Most recently, I had a potential opportunity at an absolute dream company where everything just seemed to be working out step by step.. I had a friend who referred me to the position, I felt extremely confident when meeting some of the top executives for the on site interview, researched the company religiously and could probably write a 2000 word essay on its inception and growth strategy. I didn’t get the job. But to make matters worse, when I got the phone call with them addressing me by my prospective name change “Unfortunately we’ve moved on with other candidates”, I was in an Uber 2 minutes removed from a helicopter tour above the city to start off my Labor Day Weekend. Guys I was convinced that I’d be starting that following Monday! I was crrruuuusssshhheeedddd. I mean this was dream job territory. And at that point it was probably the 5th job denial I’ve received this year.

Exhibit B: Date Tirelessly

Anyone who has recently broken up from a serious relationship can relate when I say that putting yourself out there again can be challenging. I am by no means

the Date Doctor

 giphy4

but I can tell you that the more rejections you get from potential love interests, the more of a refined partner you’ll become. You’re going to go on plenty of first dates².. You’re going to get ghosted. Idc who you are that’s just how it is. Again, the key is to anticipate rejection, but never accept it. You didn’t get the girl/guy you wanted.. that doesn’t make you a loser. Why? Because I know I suffice. You just gotta keep trying. Shooters Shoot.

So earlier this year I got involved with someone I met on @Bumble. Great app in my opinion.. gives all the power to women in a world full of horny men on quick swipe dating apps.. Things popped off we were hanging out spending time together, going on dates, building a respect for each other… pretty standard stuff.. I’d say a month or so into it we make plans to meet each other out at @PHD Midtown with friends.. I arrive late with friends only to see my date with another guy all night. I was confused. My buddies were like hey isn’t that the girl you told us you were talking to? I said yeah, but clearly read the situation wrong. To her defense she had just got out of a serious relationship and was exploring her own journey. “Unfortunately she moved on with other candidates”

I share that to tell you this, that moment of rejection would have crushhhheedd many other people, but for me, I was extremely ok with it because I know I suffice. I just realized that I just read the situation wrong instead of being more aware of her own needs. It’s allowed me to become a more refined partner since then. Also, for those wondering, me and #BumbleGirl are still very good friends to this day.

 

To reference the CNBC article, financially savvy individuals asses risk in terms of its reward but I would argue to take risks regardless of the anticipated reward. Just go out there and do it. Learn from each rejection and keep at it. Rejection builds confidence. As much of an oxymoron it is to say, the next time you’re in a high stress situation like a job interview or a first date, you’ll be able to recall from the previous mistakes you’ve made that lead you to rejection. Understand that it’s impossible to not be rejected if you’re trying to pursue anything valuable. Instead of running from it, anticipate it, never accept it and above all else,

GetRejectedTirelessly

Screen Shot 2017-09-21 at 12.38.37 AM

 

 

¹Click here for the article by CNBC https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/22/3-tips-for-success-as-a-consultant.html
²Also if you’re on Netflix, watch Aziz Ansari’s Master of None for actual examples of what it’s like to #datetirelessly in the city. S2 E4 “First Date”
master-of-none-poster

 

 

Five Things to Know Before Dating an Artist

 

A Piece by featured writer and good buddy of mine, Sam Weil

Congrats, you did it! You finally broke up with your college sweetheart and moved to the big city.

And no offense to her/him, but there was always something “off” with that one. And no, you’re not “crazy” for suggesting they were too clingy. It’s a common side effect of several years of stunted emotional growth. But anyways, that’s all in the past, now’s the time to live it up! Long days, longer nights. Enjoy the chase! Enjoy the dates!

Dating in the city is a whirlwind. I went through the aforementioned breakup-with-college-girlfriend thing, and let me tell you, I was blown away with the amount of opportunity to meet women. And not just any women, I’m talking a nearly different species of human being (Disclaimer: I grew up in suburbia-hell Connecticut so let’s just say dating diversification was “limited”). Actresses, dancers, photographers, writers, fighters (not kidding), and so many more types of artists.

At first it was overwhelming, especially transitioning from such a low-energy environment. I might’ve enjoyed more success had I known a few key things. Artists are a tricky bunch. Alluring, mysterious, but a fucking maze to navigate. If you’re navigating the maze for the first time, here are five things to keep in mind.

1. Ditch the Elevator Pitch

Artists are not corporate soldiers. Where are you from? Where do you see yourself in five years? What are your best skills? Although valid questions, they’re not going to keep his/her attention, and they definitely don’t give a shit how you would respond. Their attention has already turned to something more interesting.

Instead, try and speak with spontaneity. What does that mean? Well, don’t sound rehearsed. Tell engaging stories, ask random questions, remain somewhat mysterious and leave her wanting more. This isn’t a job interview – you don’t have to sell yourself in 20 minutes! Develop a quippy rapport and prove you’re not just another white collared cunt.

2. Don’t Default

You know when you buy a new toy and choose the default settings because you’re too lazy to customize it? Default date setting prime example: Drinks after work, tapas after that, maybe a rooftop to seal the deal. Hopefully you get my point, and honestly, the only thing you’ll seal is the inevitable fate of no text back!

Be creative, man! Actually put some thought into this. Artists crave inspiration so show them something they’ve never seen before. Maybe there’s a small garden or view-point you only know about. Perhaps there’s a public performance or live music waiting to be stumbled upon. Either way, the city is never short of options, so get the creative juices flowing and steer clear of the standard drinks-food-more drinks routine.

3. Expect the Emotional Unexpected

I hate making assumptions and so should you. When dating an artist, never guess his/her emotional state, period. The same can be said for pretty much anybody, but its importance is paramount with artists. From what I’ve experienced, most artists don’t choose their career path lightly. Often a life experience inspired them to pursue the road less traveled, and it’s also possible this experience left them emotionally volatile. Not always, but often.

My advice – don’t prod at their past and instead let them open up to you at their own pace. And if you experience any emotional volatility (like a random argument because no, you don’t think the painting represents early Vietnamese feminism (true story)) keep your cool and hopefully she apologizes and explains herself later on. And if not, well, there’s always the prospect of angry artist sex!

4. Stay in Your Zone

You don’t know Monet. You definitely don’t know ballet. And if you think for one second you can hold your own with Opera, then you’re a bigger fraud than Shkreli. So, don’t try it! We all talk out of our asses. There’s no shame in trying to sound smarter than you really are. But again, this isn’t a job interview, and artists will figure you out before you finish your first drink.

Simple solution – listen and learn! Take a genuine interest in what they have to say about their craft. Ask specific questions. Chime in when appropriate but let them hold the reigns. Yes, it can be intimidating to know nothing in front of an expert, but relax big guy, she already took the date! You’re halfway home. And if you happen to be good at something outside of work, sports and binge drinking, then flex your intellectual and creative muscles when the opportunity presents itself.

5. Leave Sensitivity at the Door

Imagine taking a constant barrage of criticism over your body, talents, and ability to inspire others day-in and day-out at work. Imagine struggling to compete with hundreds of equally talented peers just to secure a couple weeks of income (and in many cases, simply to put something on your resume). Shit, imagine having the mainstream look at you as a feeble-minded imbecile because you choose to do something that most, frankly, don’t.

What’s my point? Well, this is what artists endure. Their careers are hyper competitive and rarely succeed; there’s no time to feel sorry for themselves. Sometimes, this spawns a sort of cold-blooded personality that doesn’t feel bad for the tough situations of others. I’m not suggesting they’re mean-spirited bitches, but I am saying it’s likely they don’t offer condolences because you had to take an 8am conference call or you scuffed your new pair of Ferragamo shoes. Seriously though, don’t expect an artist to be sensitive to your every need and situation. They have their own shit to go through. If you need someone to pat your back and assure you that everything will be alright, an artist may not be the one for you.

 

**So next time you’re thinking about dating an artist, remember my friends tips: Don’t be Captain Corporate America, Be Spontaneous, Stay in Your Lane, Don’t Be a D*** and above all else

#DateTirelessly Screen Shot 2017-09-21 at 12.38.37 AM

 

Get To The Choppuh

If you had the opportunity to choose one super power what would it be?

If you’re like me and chose flying, then read the following steps below to turn that dream into a reality.

  1. Go to FlyNYON.com 
  2. Book a Tour
  3. Thank me Later

This was hands down the best experience of my life.

I was scrolling through my Instagram one night and saw this ridiculous ad for a helicopter tour that doesn’t have any doors that lets you dangle off the side and let your feet hang. I was sold completely. I remember immediately texting people to see who was down to go. Granted it’s pricier than most of the other tours in the city, so it was a hard sell for most people but when it comes down to it, when you look back, you won’t care that you used up your grocery budget for the week for the once in a lifetime experience.

giphy

I am telling you, this is THE helicopter tour of all helicopter tours. The company itself is still pretty new, so there was concern a little bit of the legitimacy of the business. You have to take the PATH train to Journal Sq in Jersey and then take an Uber from the station to the launch site, but once I was at their office I was pleasantly surprised at its legitimacy. FlyNYON just upgraded their office and it’s super welcoming and they do a great job. It’s got a start up company vibe with its VR room and open industrial layout. It’s a very clean and professional. The staff are awesome; if you have any questions about the flight, they do a great job in clarifying things for you.

I’ve been to the Top of the Rock, The Empire State Building, The Freedom Tower, I’ve been to most rooftops in New York City… But now I’m screwed because I can’t look at New York’s skyline the same way. When you’re sitting off the edge of the Helicopter starting at the financial district from that vantage point, you’re literally in shock at how beautiful the city is. It’s almost like your eyes are playing games with you and trying to show you something that you can’t believe is real. But enough of me writing about the experience, take a look for yourself…

 

img_1229img_1232img_1231img_1228img_1238

Enjoy your tour, bring a camera, take it all in and above all else:

E.T.

 

 

 

Why Exploring Is Extremely Important.

I was going to write about my experience on Sunday jet skiing through Jamaica Bay and Rockaway Beach, but wanted to address the deeper meaning as to why I do what I do. What is the significance of me going out of my way to constantly try new things? I felt that a blog post about the importance of exploring was more necessary than just a another post about me exploring.

The only two driving forces that I believe we have in life is Time and Love.

We have an extremely limited amount of time to do what we love. So why not spend the most time loving what we do.

I think that as we age, we just become lazy. We become monotonous. We become extremely comfortable in the life that we’ve worked hard to to set up for ourselves. We schedule everything and lose track of our two driving forces for other “priorities”. And I use quotes because shouldn’t our actual priorities be the only two driving forces we have in life? Time and Love.

Exploring addresses those issues. It takes our perceived priorities and breaks the monotony. When you’re forced to be put in a new situation, you’re also forced to explore. Your thought process changes, your perspective changes, your problem solving skills. And you’re forced to grow.

I have been fortunate enough to have been put in situations where I’ve had to adjust quickly and explore new ways of living. This has allowed me put myself in situations where I can learn quickly. Whether it’s trying a brand new sport, or navigating through the streets of Bangkok.

I’ve found a way to maximize my time doing what I love. Being able to explore effectively enables me to be confident in every situation I put myself in. For example: going into a job interview, I’m able to recall my experience exploring a business fraternity in college the first day I transferred to the university. That business frat helped me with my interviewing skills. So on and so forth.

Another example of why exploring built my confidence. Again back to being new at a university and learning how to use the public transportation at a large university, it then translated to my learning quickly how to navigate through manhattan. Which can be intimidating to some, but for me, I took it as a challenge. And then sure enough, when I travelled to Thailand, getting around was a breeze because the fact that I was willing to learn and explore in Manhattan, exploring in Thailand was just an extension of that mindset. What’s that old saying? If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere..

Exploring is a culmination of all of your previous experiences and building upon that. Actively finding comfort in uncomfortable situations. With this mentality, you’ll be able to experience amazing things as they happen, as opposed to worrying about being too hot, or too tired, or hungry, or how unideal the situation is for you.

With that being said, go out there and put yourself in a new situation. Explore new activities, try new things, or do the same things with new people. You’ll be surprised at how different something so familiar may feel with someone new. And since I brought up jet skiing earlier, you’re probably wondering how it went:

 

E.T.